Monday morning. Your alarm goes off for the first time in two days, you head back to the office and then spend the first few hours of the workday planning out how you’ll survive until closing time on Friday. Luckily, Poker Central and Death Wish Coffee have you covered. The world’s strongest coffee gives you a “Morning Perk,” recapping the weekend sports action on Monday and then the best from across the internet on Friday.

The sports calendar tends to ebb and flow over the course of the year and while this weekend may have been more low tide, as compared to the roaring higher tides of next weekend’s NCAA Basketball Conference Tournament schedule, there was still plenty to keep you entertained no matter what your sport of choice is. From someone running so fast that you could have literally missed it if you blinked, to one of the greatest rivalries in sports, to an attempted murder, this weekend had everything and more. 

There is fast and then there is faaassssttttt. University of Washington wide receiver John Ross is the latter and the projected 1st Rounder helped his draft stock by running the fastest 40-yard dash in NFL Combine history this weekend. Ross clocked in at 4.22 seconds, beating Chris Johnson’s 4.24 seconds mark that has held the record since 2008. The only concerning thing about Ross’ lightning fast time, it looked like he ran so fast that he actually hurt himself or maybe that was just his shoes catching *fire emoji*.

The biggest game of the weekend was also college basketball’s biggest rivalry game. Duke and North Carolina met in a match-up of Top 25 teams and it was the Tar Heels claiming Tobacco Road bragging rights but this likely won’t be their final meeting of the season. Both teams are expected to contend for the ACC Conference Tournament title, which starts next week. While hopes of a #1 seed in the NCAA Tournament are all but gone for Duke, if North Carolina takes care of business in New York, they could be the team to beat in their region.  

While this didn’t technically happen this weekend, the Vegas Golden Knights officially signed their first player on Monday morning. Admittedly, I don’t know much about the NHL or hockey in general but I am all-in on any and everything Golden Knights. Reid Duke, who might have the best name in all of sports, is my new favorite hockey player and I will be purchasing his jersey before the 2017-2018 season begins.

On Sunday, March 6, 2017, Willie Cauley-Stein was taken into custody by Sacramento Police Department deputy Ralph Drizzler. Cauley-Stein was charged with the attempted murder of Rudy Gobert during the Sacramento Kings game against the Utah Jazz. Drizzler had this to say on the arrest, “In early February, Cauley-Stein, who goes by the alias “Trill”, ended Amir Johnson’s life and for the last month, has been on the run from authorities. It is unfortunate that he nearly committed another heinous crime but our community is finally safe. Willie Cauley-Stein will be held without bail and will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.” A preliminary hearing is scheduled for Wednesday afternoon.

If Steve Harvey is thanking Warren Beatty, Kyrie Irving is thanking Arian Foster this weekend. The retired NFL running back went on a long-winded Twitter rant, mostly with himself, about how he could beat a wolf in a fight. The main reasons being wolves lack of opposable thumbs, wolves not being able to read and wolves not knowing biology. Congrats Kyrie, you are off the hook for “Dumbest Comment by a Professional Athlete in 2017”. Good luck finding someone to take that title from you Arian.

The “Morning Perk” is sponsored by Death Wish Coffee, the world’s strongest coffee. Order yours today and make sure to follow Death Wish Coffee on Twitter